Learning to Drive

I’m surpised I’m still standing right now. 

If you enjoy finding the humor in a person’s demise, then please. Read on. 

Tuesday:

8:00 AM - Receive call from Principal. “Hi Megan, do you have any commitments right now? Can you come to my office around 9?”

Inner Thoughts: Commitments? Um, yeah like maybe TEACHING? It’s in the middle of the school day.

Actual Words: “Absolutely!”

9:00 AM - Near heart attack, I go to Principal’s office. 

Principal: Hi Megan. Two things. #1, here’s your new schedule. You are no longer in the Career Center. You’re new mailbox will be in room 1-14, and you will be assisting in the indicated English classrooms. 

Inner Thoughts: Da fuq?

Actual Words: …….

Principal: #2, we have a full time English classroom position that will be available in April. Can you get your Special Ed cert…ASAP? Even though you’re the only candidate I’m speaking to right now, I really would like someone who holds BOTH an English cert and a Special Ed cert. Can you do that?

Inner Thoughts: WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HOW THE WHATSIT AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THAT TOGETHER OMG APRIL 1, 2, 3, 4 MONTHS AWAY DON’T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT EDUCATION AND COLLEGE CREDITS IT’S LIKE A WHOLE NOTHER DEGREE WHY WOULD….continue stream of concious rant.

Actual Words: Oh wonderful. Yes I’ll begin that process now.

Principal: Great. Thank you! 

10:00 AM - Return to Career Center

Coworker #1: How did that go?

Inner Thoughts: Why does this suddenly feel like a break up?

Actual Words: Um, this is my last week in the Career Center. They’re moving me starting Monday.

(after inaudible initial shock)

Coworker #2: This is a bad, bad, bad day. I knew it was going to be a bad, bad day when I woke up. This is bad, bad, bad….

Coworker #1: (with tears in eyes) I have to go take a walk. 

2:30 PM - Dr’s Office to investigate and diagnose the MOLD INFECTION I RECEIVED FROM MY PREVIOUS TEACHING EXPERIENCE. 

4:00 PM - 8:00 PM -  Sometime within my Tutoring job, I was pulled out to get an annual review. I’ve been there a month. 

Scary Boss: Well, we think you’re just wonderful. We’d like to begin training you for management soon. 

Inner Thoughts: MANAGEMENT ARE YOU CRAZY LADY I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M DOING CAN’T YOU TELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING WHY CAN’T YOU TELL THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING HOW DO I TELL YOU THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING MANAGEMENT? I CAN’T EVEN MANAGE MYSELF!

Actual Thoughts: Great. Thank you. 

Wednesday

7:30 AM - 1:30 AM -  Hear both Coworkers #1 and #2 complete the following sequence:

1. “I’m so sorry for getting so emotional”
2. “You’re next placement is going to be so wonderful for you!”
3. “Don’t listen to Principal. She’s lying to you. CAN’T BE TRUSTED!”
4. “Man, you must be happy to leave us crazy people!”
5. “If you ever need this room for testing, come on down! You have the key!”
6. “DON’T LEAVE US!

(begin again). 

2PM - Meeting with Graduate School Advisor and figure out a plan of action to begin special ed certification in JANUARY. 

8 PM -  Nervous breakdown to complete stranger at tutoring place I just started at after a 4 hour tutoring session. 

9 PM - Stress eat left over dinner. 

How was your day?

1. rrundevil said: Whoa, hun. You work with some nutteroonies. Certification in four months. That’s really cool. I want to give you hugs and watch movies with you all day and talk to you until you fall asleep (then several minutes after).
2. learningtodrive posted this